Sunday, May 03, 2015

Discovery

The listlessness of the blank page. The endless repetition of thoughts and words and decisions. The mind is a high functioning machine designed to analyse, decipher, calculate and execute When it reaches a certain level of expertise, it becomes bored and focuses its relentless energies on itself. To create new problems, new puzzles to solve. This action, this re-focusing comes at a cost to its host. It is an immuno-deficiency. It attacks itself in an effort to create, to fulfil its purpose – analysis, calculation, execution. The greatest minds have punished the greatest souls in a spiralling vortex of worry, anxiety, frustration, fear and depression. It is the most intelligent who are often the most punished because they are of the mistaken belief that their thoughts are a reflection of their inner truth. It is with this intelligence that they worry and fear and fritter their time away – believing in the mind, believing in the thoughts. What is amazing in this discovery is that there is no inner truth. There is no central identity. There is only the Soul’s Journey. At the flick of a switch, one can turn over a new leaf and move away from the endless analysis, the fear, the frustration, the anxiety. Ultimately, my fear, frustration, anger, resentment, anxiety is a story that I have created because of my intelligence. These words are the printed form of a melting pot of energies that I have tried to examine without context. There are energies that come from other people that I have collected as though they were seashells I put in my pocket while walking on the beach. They are nothing more. I can feel each one: loss, fear, grief, heartbreak, jealousy. Like a fog, they invade my head and make my body feel exhausted. And I believe them to be real, to be mine. And that is their hold. That is their grip. Belief! It really is that easy to divest myself of them. The only way to do this is to know that it is that easy. It means that I must make moves to trust myself, to divest myself, to walk away from these energies. There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

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