Someone else's me

Listening to ThisAmericanLife with my sweets. A show starring Jonathan Goldstein. I let out a bitter moan and told the sweets that I couldn't listen to a show with Jonathan Goldstein. The reason being that I interviewed to do an internship on his show just when I was graduating University and I didn't get the job. I will say that I didn't get the job because I listened to someone else's advice on how to do an interview at CBC. I listened to this person because she worked at CBC and I thought she would know. It turns out that she knew about her field and that was about it. Following this person's advice, led me down the route of not getting hired by Jonathan Goldstein. And I blamed that person for giving me such crap advice. That was the cause of this bitter moan. Mind you, years later I applied to do an internship at thisamericanlife and they didn't even reply, so I can't be sure that someone gave me crap advice or that they just didn't like me. The point is that the blame is in the wrong place. I made the decision to trust someone else's opinion over my own, someone else's advice about how I should think or behave or act over my own judgement. That is the really depressing thing. Not trusting myself! Ugh. Looking back, I don't remember choosing a career path that I really wanted to do. Well, that's not strictly true. Let me reflect on that and get back to you...