Monday, August 20, 2012

Witness

LAWYER: On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the farmhouse on the footpath to the cowshed? WITNESS: I did. LAWYER: And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the duck pond? WITNESS: I did. LAWYER: And did you observe anything? WITNESS: I did. (Witness remains silent.) LAWYER: Well, could you tell the Court what you saw? WITNESS: I saw George. LAWYER: You saw George *******, the defendant in this case? WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: Can you tell the Court what George ******* was doing? WITNESS: Yes. (Witness remains silent.) LAWYER: Well, would you kindly do so? WITNESS: He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks. LAWYER: His "thing"? WITNESS: You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis. LAWYER: You passed close by the duck pond, the light was good, you were sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly? WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: Did you say anything to him? WITNESS: Of course I did! LAWYER: What did you say to him? WITNESS: "Morning, George.