Friday, April 03, 2015

A New Chapter

My GoG, It has been bloody ages since I sat down to write. Honestly, it feels like years. I often wonder where all that time has gone...ahhh to the unblessed, to the heathen, to the faithless -- "...curse them! They stole it from us..." "What? What did they steal?" "Myyyyy Preshusssss!!!" Gollum. Truly he has a fine flow of language. I too can relate to Gollum's high emotion when it comes to what I have been losing -- some might call it wisdom -- others might call it time -- others still might call it life. Life. Life force. Life force in trade for money. And prestige. The medical benefits. The pension. The call of the corporate state. A grown-up's job. Join the working week. Spend your time navigating egos, Cover your Ass (CYA) (Also Canadian Yachting Association) and be creative with Excel spreadsheets. I really had no idea how fundamental a role Excel Spreadsheets would take in my day to day life. And incompetence. Huge swathes of incompetence at all levels of business. It's really quite extraordinary. Well, let's look on the positive side. I have made a good deal of money -- much of which I have spent. Let's put that into different words. I have spent a good deal of money (from my higher salary). I have kept a sailboat in the water and paid for all expenses. I have gotten my car back on the road (soon to be sold). I have learned about Excel. Sharepoint. A number of other software programs. I have gained skills and insights into the onerous and methodical task of schmoozing, learning to never so 'no' even when it is abundantly clear that the request being made is not only completely undoable, but is childish in the extreme. Most importantly, I have gained valuable insight into mud-slinging, bullying and back-stabbing, behaviours which are measureably rewarded at the most senior levels. Oh yes, and I learned a new career at some point in the bargain. It has been benevolently illustrated to me that the last point is totally irrelevant when it comes to getting promoted and achieving job satisfaction. Any yet, given this tirade of abuse, this aggressive praise, this distinguished collection of verbiage levelled at a place of work, which I have stated in no uncertain terms for over 6 months to virtually everyone I know, there is still surprise and chagrin when I tell those same souls that I intend to leave my job. Why do you want to quit? What will you do? Can you work there part-time? Is there somewhere else in the company you can go? What about your car, your boat, your rent? Are you sure this is a good idea? Yah, but it sure is good to pay the bills! You know, those questions NEVER occured to me! Thank you for mentioning it. I never thought once about how to pay my rent or pay down my line of credit or subsist off the meagre savings I have. I just didn't think about it. HUH! But I digress as I am wont to do. Digressing is where I shine. I SHINE AT DIGRESSING. I can start to work on a project and digress so furiously that I have to sit down in consternation so as not get utterly overwhelmed by all the possible outcomes in front of me. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a wonderful skill. It takes practice. It takes rehearsal. One must rehearse at digressing before one can shine at digressing. I'm lying of course, but it is something that has always come naturally to me. Perhaps a bit of Attention Deficit Disorder. There is medication for that I know. It's called Conversations with Undergraduates. No, that is the malady. Anyway, it has been a long time since I have written. I miss it. I miss communicating with words, like actual words instead of semi-automatic gunfire of three letter acronyms (did you know that TLA is the acronym for Three Letter Acronyms--I'm not kidding). I miss conversations that are creative, that flex the brain -- conversations on philosphy, language, film, the things we cannot touch except with our minds. It has been 10 years since I started this blog. That is quite extraordinary. I wonder.


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